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Meghan Markle discusses her “fairy tale” wedding to Prince Harry in the latest episode of her “Archetypes” podcast.
The Duchess of Sussex sits down with Mindy Kaling for this week’s instalment, with the actress, according to the description, opening up “in an unprecedented conversation about the joys, challenges, and stigmas of her life as a single, unmarried woman – plus her decision to start a family on her own.”
Markle says of the stigmas surrounding her own marriage to Harry back in 2018: “Just my own experience of when I started dating my husband, we became engaged [and] everyone was just like, ‘Oh my God, you’re so lucky he chose you.’”
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Markle then plays a news piece that states, “The happy couple has enchanted the world with their real-life fairy tale…” as the duchess admits: “And at a certain point, after hearing it a million times over, you’re like, ‘Well I chose him, too?’”
She goes on, “But thankfully I have a partner who was countering that narrative for me and going ‘They’ve got it all wrong. I’m the lucky one because you chose me.’
“But it is gendered and it’s archetyped and it’s stereotyped that you’re so lucky. And it just feeds into this idea that you’re waiting for someone to tell you that you’re good enough, as opposed to knowing that you’re good enough on your own.”
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Markle starts the episode by talking about the idea of a certain type of marriage being drilled into kids from an early age.
“When I was 14, I planned my wedding, not my actual wedding. That would have been a bit harder to imagine… this wedding was an assignment for my religion class in Catholic school.
“I remember every little thing about it, I wanted it to be at the Bel-Air Hotel and there was a swan lake and I wanted the cake to be from Hansen’s Bakery and the dress… Oh my goodness, the dress was strapless and poofy, and I’d seen it in a bridal magazine.
“And I bought it, not the dress, I bought the bridal magazine because I took this project seriously, I wanted to get an A, and I did… maybe I got an A-minus.”
She continues, “But my grade on the project is actually neither here nor there because what strikes me now from my 40-something vantage point is the fact that this project was even graded at all, the fact that this project even existed. At no point, could you say ‘Nope, my dream for the future is to be single.’
“The message, even at my feminist all-girls school, was as traditional as it gets. First comes love, then comes marriage.”
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