Kelsea Ballerini’s latest chapter is about making big life decisions. On top of celebrating the release of her latest album, Subject to Change, the 29-year-old is also mourning the end of her marriage to fellow country singer, Morgan Evans.
“I think when there’s a big life decision like that, it’s not a sudden one, there is a lot that happens before that becomes public,” the “What I Have” singer said during an interview on Monday’s CBS Mornings. “So, I’m on my active healing journey. And a big part of that is showing up for this album and showing up for myself like I never have.”
The pair announced they were ending their marriage, after five years, in August.
Ballerini admitted that although this major change is a rough adjustment, personally she is happy with the results.
“I’m a peacemaker. I’m a people pleaser,” she said. “So, to do something that kinda goes against those two things is really difficult and I’m really proud of myself.”
“I’m doing it for me”: Country star @KelseaBallerini says she used to be terrified of change, but now she’s embracing it in her music.
— CBS Mornings (@CBSMornings) October 3, 2022
Ballerini and Evans met in 2016 and tied the knot the same year. The “Hole in the Bottle” singer shared that there was not one big incident, rather it just didn’t work out, and that’s what made the decision to end the marriage “rough.”
“It’s not chaotic, it’s not volatile, it just didn’t work,” she shared. “And that sometimes is a difficult narrative to get your head around when you’re just like, ‘Oh my gosh, this is a good person and I’m a good person and this just isn’t good anymore.’”
Although she admitted to feeling like a “failure” at the end of her marriage, the country music superstar learned not to feel shame, but find a space where she can celebrate who she is.
“It’s easy to shame yourself and it’s easy to want to hide and I just want to be proud of myself in 10 years on this season of my life,” she said. This is not just a heavy time in my life, this is also a celebratory time in my life. I don’t want to shade that because that’s important to feel.”
Ballerini said divorce has also been a period of learning.
“I think the things that I’m learning are that I’m loyal and that’s really a weird thing to say going through a divorce,” she said. “And I think loyalty is broader than your person. I think you have to start with yourself.”
Ballerini also addressed the end of another relationship, which she sings about on the album. On the track, “Doin’ My Best,” where she sings, “I was friends with a pop star. I put ’em on track four but wish I could take it back, I would’ve never asked, if I knew we wouldn’t talk anymore.”
Fans quickly gathered that it was Halsey who appeared on Ballerini’s last album, on the fourth track titled, “The Other Girl.”
“It’s not a diss track and I feel like I need to specify that,” Ballerini said without naming Halsey. “Sometimes when you mix friendship and career, and work, I guess it gets weird and I essentially lost a friend.”
She continued, “I wildly respect the person that I had that song with and had that friendship with and I want nothing but the best.”