Gwyneth Paltrow‘s husband is understanding of her friendship with her ex. ET’s Cassie DiLaura spoke with the 50-year-old Goop founder on Wednesday, and Paltrow revealed how she rekindled her friendship with Brad Pitt and how her husband, Brad Falchuk, feels about her doing so.
Paltrow and Pitt dated in the ’90s and got engaged in 1996, before calling it quits later that year.
“When we first broke up, we weren’t friends for a while and then we sort of found our way back, probably about 18 or 19 years ago, something like that, and then just kind of stayed in touch over the years,” Paltrow told ET, after publishing a Q&A with Pitt on Goop earlier this year.
“I adore him,” she added of her ex. “He’s an amazing person, and he’s a great entrepreneur, and such a creative, and such a good person. I really love him. I’m a big fan.”
As for how Falchuk, whom she wed in 2018, feels about the friendly exes, Paltrow praised, “My husband is probably like the least judgmental, most secure man in our relationship, so I think he totally respects [the friendship].”
“Probably one of the things that he likes about me is that I believe in conscious uncoupling, whether you’re uncoupling with a coworker, a spouse, a boyfriend, I really do believe that if you’ve invested in somebody — and of course there are exceptions — to amputate that relationship [shows that] maybe you’re not then fully letting the full lesson reveal itself and the healing happen,” she explained. “So even though sometimes it can be uncomfortable, I think it’s nice to work through it and reconnect with the value that that person brought to your life.”
Falchuk’s acceptance of Paltrow’s beliefs is just one of the many things she loves about her relationship with the writer and producer.
“We have amazing chemistry and so that’s a great part of a foundation,” she said. “My body feels really good when he’s around, so that’s just luck.”
“And then I think we’ve learned a lot from our first marriages,” Paltrow said of her and Falchuk’s past relationships with Chris Martin and Suzanne Bukinik, respectively. “I think we have a great almost reverence for commitment and building, continuing to nourish a marriage. We’ve become very good communicators, and so that’s a very important part.”
They’re also very aware of each other’s love languages, as Paltrow explained, “The way I express love is by cooking and taking care of people that I love. so for me it’s really an important part of our weekend. His love language, acts of service, is really impactful for him, so for us it worked really well.”
The couple has four children between them — Paltrow is mom to Apple, 18, and Moses, 16, while Falchuk is dad to Isabella, 18, and Brody, 16. The teens are growing up fast, as Paltrow recently dropped Apple off at college.
“I’m still trying to get used to her not being in the house every day. I wish someone had almost prepared me for how hard it was,” Paltrow said. “… Man, it was very, very hard. It was very hard.”
“She’s like my ray of sunshine and it’s been hard without her, but I’m also so proud of her,” she continued. “She’s so happy and it’s amazing to see this independent, strong young woman stand on her own two feet and emerge.”
As for what Apple and Moses plan to pursue in adulthood, Paltrow said it’s all still up in the air.
“Apple, she’s very open to life right now and she doesn’t think about it in those terms,” Paltrow said. “Moses is very into music, so we’ll see. I don’t know if he wants to do it for a career, but I think both of my kids are certainly creatives, but they’re also academics as well, so I don’t know. We’ll see what they’re gonna do.”
Paltrow has found her path, though, and is passionate about being a figure in the wellness space. Equally important to her, is that other women are in the industry too. One such person is Kourtney Kardashian, whose site, Poosh, recently teamed up with Paltrow for a candle line, after the reality star faced criticism for launching the venture, which is similar to Goop.
“I felt terrible when Poosh launched and people were being so mean about it. I just thought it was unfair to her,” Paltrow told ET. “First of all, any spotlight shown on wellness is so productive for the culture. She’s very authentic about it. She lives the life. She’s an explorer. She’s on a journey. I love that she was showing her audience the ways in which they can connect more deeply with themselves.”
“I just started to contemplate how often that happens in our society, that women are pitted against one another… I thought, ‘Gosh, this is really strange. Why is this happening?’” she added. “I realized that I think it’s because, on some level, it’s been very deeply embedded that if a woman gains something another woman loses something. It’s just absolutely not the case. In fact, it’s very much the opposite. So I wanted to do the candle collaboration just to shine a light on that aspect that women should not be in competition with one another, that more water makes all the boats rise higher.”
Meanwhile, Paltrow has teamed up with Copper Fit, in their first female brand collaboration, for an exclusive capsule that’s geared towards improving the lives of all women who live an active lifestyle at any level.
“I’m a person who really vets everything and has my team vet everything. I had never really heard of the brand, and so I started using the products and I absolutely fell in love with them,” she said. “I’m always in my compression socks on an airplane, I use the gloves a lot for my hands, there’s great things for posture. As you do get older your joints start to work less well and you need support… so I was like, ‘This is really great stuff.’”
“I always love to change a conversation if I can, and I love the idea of exploring what fitness means as you age… and what are the ways that you can support your body to continue to have an incredibly strong body that’s right for you at that age,” Paltrow added. “It just felt really good.”
Overall, Paltrow is feeling really good, something she credits, in part, to her focus on fitness and wellness.
“I’m a diehard, like, 15-year Tracy Anderson devotee, so I do Tracy multiple times a week. I do some Pilates now as well for some heavier resistance work a couple times a week,” she shared. “My husband and I walk and hike as well. We love to do that, get some fresh air… It’s something that we do at least once a week. Sometimes at the end of our workday we’ll even… go walk for 45 minutes and get some fresh air. We’ll walk down to the ocean or something and just move the body.”
At age 50, Paltrow couldn’t be happier about where she is in life.
“I think that, culturally, when women turn 40… there’s this idea that gets put into our head that it’s something we should be worried about. I think in retrospect I was worried about all of those things that society makes you worry about, kind of losing your viability and your youth, especially for somebody like me who had made my living with my face,” she said. “If you’re a public facing person, it can feel extra hard, like, ‘What does this mean? Am I gonna be put out to pasture?’”
“It was a very hard birthday for me in that way, because I felt like, ‘Well, is it over?’ It was so crazy because, honestly, my 40s were so great and productive and full of so many things. I kept getting closer and closer to myself with every passing year,” Paltrow continued. “Turning 50 just felt so awesome. I was worried I was gonna have another nervous breakdown, a worse one, but it’s just been such a positive experience. I feel so full and my heart feels so full. I feel so grateful. I feel like I’ve put down a lot of the criticisms I used to have of myself. I still beat myself up a little, but… I’ve kind of changed. It’s pretty great. Women should not be afraid of turning 50.”