By Shakiel Mahjouri.

Drew Barrymore and Jennette McCurdy find common ground in their relationships with their mothers.

Barrymore and McCurdy have both had difficult experiences with their maternal figures. Barrymore and McCurdy, who released her best-selling memoir I’m Glad my Mom Died in August, dissected their experiences in the former’s new digital series “Barrymore’s Backstage”.

“My goal from being a little girl, I want a good family,” McCurdy said. “I want a good family.”

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That was a goal that Barrymore deeply sympathized with.

“I really understand wanting to create that nuclear family. You will make it work,” Barrymore said. “Now I have two kids and a huge family, their dad and I didn’t work and that took me down, like that was it. This was the almighty plan, I didn’t even know if I was going to have children because of my relationship with my mom.

“And then when I did and it didn’t work out I didn’t think I could experience more trauma, failure and emotions when that happened. ‘Oh this is the big one, I thought that happened when you were 13. We can always be surprised that the nervous breakdown is going to happen at 40 and not 13 in a mental institution… You are now doing great.’”

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When McCurdy (“iCarly”) started speaking with a therapist, she was hardwired to protect her mother’s image.

“In retrospect I see I was disclaiming every single thing my mom did instead of just stating the reality or how I felt about it,” McCurdy said. “I was more concerned with how to keep my mom looking good, than expressing my true emotional reality.”

“Maybe it’s protectiveness that I feel,” Barrymore chimed in. “I’ve never put it in those terms in my head. It’s like I don’t want to paint her negatively. I don’t want people to think of her negatively but the truth is tough stuff.”


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Ellen Bullock