Drew Barrymore has confirmed she hasn’t been in an “intimate relationship” for years, and has no desire to be in one anytime soon.
Barrymore and Kopelman share two daughters together — Olive, 10, and Frankie, 8 — and the actress insisted her priority is the kids and has been since they were born.
She shared after commenting that a fan had mentioned that she “hates sex” because she said she could abstain for years, “At nearly 48 I have very different feelings about intimacy than I did growing up.
“I did not have role model parents and I engaged with people in grown up ways since a tender age! I was looking for companionship! validation! excitement! pleasure! hedonism! fun! And adventures!! Now, because I can’t get in the time machine and change my history. So I now choose to look at it through a positive lens, which is that I lived! I lived a very rich full life.
“However, after two kids and a separation from their father that has made me cautious, I have had the pleasure of shifting my focus when it comes to love for myself and my two daughters. I know that does not include a man nor has it for a while. I’ve come to realize through working in therapy (with Barry), he said something and I had to write it down. He said, ‘Sex is not love! It is the expression of love.’ I have searched my whole life to have words like that to help me understand the difference and now, thanks to him, I do.”
Barrymore went on, “And since entering life as a single mom, I have not been able to have an intimate relationship. I have had the honour and a pleasure to actually work on myself and learn what parenting is, again something I was not exactly clear on growing up and I’ve had many learning curves thrown my way. I’ve been intimidated.
“I’ve been triumphant. I’ve been asked to be educated in every way I can be. The truth is, it’s different for every family and every individual, but I have had to try and find my own way. I’m also raising two daughters, so how we raise girls to be appropriate and empowered and to love themselves and to realize that we live in an age where the images and messages that they will see will also contradict what I have come to believe intimacy is! Intimacy is something that makes you feel good about yourself! I also talk about and have learned when something doesn’t make you feel good or it makes you feel bad about yourself, pay as much attention to that as what makes you feel great because there’s a lesson in there.”
The “Never Been Kissed” star wrote, “I am just in a completely different place in my life and maybe in the near future I will get into a relationship… but it simply hasn’t been my priority. So I’m not a person who needs sex and has to go out there and engage with people on that level. I am someone who is deeply committed to fostering how young girls, my daughters, and myself as a woman, are supposed to function in this world! A relationship with a man has not been top of mind for me for a very long time.
“Some people can get out of a marriage or relationship and in the near future find themselves in another relationship. There is nothing wrong with that! Not one bit. I do not judge! I celebrate their journey! Because for some people that really works. It didn’t work for me. I needed to stay very celibate and honouring and in some sort of state of morning of the loss of a nuclear family that I swore I would have for my daughters and to find grace and acceptance and what our new normal of a blended family would be.
“It took time. I’m proud of myself that I took that time. That’s what I, as my own individual and no one else just me, needed to do and I honoured that and I respect myself for it, as I respect anyone else for their choices. I have just simply come to laugh about the fact that it is not my personal priority to be with a partner, but that doesn’t mean it won’t become one someday. I need time. And my view on sex has truly changed.”